Why would anyone ever think it is okay to drink and drive? EVER? I know, "I'm not drunk" "It's not that far" are used a lot. But haven't you seen the commercials? Buzzed driving is drunk driving. And it doesn't take far to kill someone.
  Two of my friends growing up were killed by drunk drivers. The kicker? They weren't driving themselves! One was 15, and one was 13. The 15 year old wasn't even IN a car! He was on the side of the road! Why would someone want to endanger others like that, unless they were in fact a murderer?
  What gets me the most is people who say "I'm a good drunk driver!" or "I drive better than when I'm sober". NO no you don't. And there is no such thing as a good drunk driver, only lucky ones.
  Even worse than that, is the fact that everyone out here in TX seems to think it's okay! I know not EVERYONE, but the majority of people my age (mid-20's) drink and drive. I worked with a girl who lost her license because of a DWI. We used to live with a couple both of whom drove all the time drunk. Even now, when we go out with friends, you can tell the ones who are from this area because they are the ones who are willing to drink and drive. I mean seriously! There was one girl we went out with in her late 30's, when most people at least by that time have grown up, who was drinking and driving! And do you know what the signs say when you enter Texas? "Drinking and Driving: You can't afford the ticket". o.O really? Not "drinking and driving kills" or anything like that, because apparently people here don't care. It's about money. That is soooooo incredibly sad to me! Please people, stop being so selfish because you don't want to leave your car in a parking lot, or you don't want to shell out the money for a cab. If you kill someone, you will never forget it. You will probably end up paying for a lot more than if someone broke into your car, and it will probably be with prison time. If I had my way, I would put all drink and drivers in prison for life.  Because obviously they don't care about anyone else's life, so they shouldn't get to enjoy theirs.

Things are finally starting to take a turn for better! I am feeling more empowered by the route that choosing adoption has taken us. It was the hardest and saddest decision I have ever had to make, yes, but I feel like a much better person for it. It has opened my eyes, and allowed me to not take things for granted anymore. I am slowly coming out of my postpartum and regular depression, yay! and I managed to make it through without meds. I am finally finding some inner energy, and getting my groove back. The apartment is happier, it's cleaner now! I made myself a little checklist with things for me to do each day so I don't feel so overwhelmed. Might I add cats are a necessity for depression cures! ok, maybe not, but they helped. I wub my angels! And they enjoy me more now too, I am playing with them more! I also joined a local stamping group. Maybe some new friends are on the horizon! It would be nice to have some that are close. Craig is talking about going overseas on a year contract. The money would be nice, it would be nice to get so far ahead in just a year. I know it comes with a huge risk, but our soldiers take that risk every day. It would suck being over here by myself, but at the same time, when he comes home it will be like we are dating again, with butterflies and everything! For now though, I am going to focus on the present and the fact that my mood swings finally went in the up direction.

I want to go back to school. Right now I am aiming towards a zoology major, but it's always something that keeps me from going. First, it's money. Money always seems to be a necessary evil! >=o( You can't make good money without a degree, but you can't get a degree without money! We make too much money to qualify for financial aid. But not enough to pay out of pocket. Vicious cycle! I can't even volunteer without a degree. Or at least some sort of experience (again, not seeming possible without a degree). I could find a job to make enough money to pay for my school, but then I wouldn't have the time to go. I think it's crap! I think schools should cut their admissions in half! Maybe then more people could afford to go. Until then, I'll just sit here waiting.....maybe one day.

Why do people ask for advice? I mean really! Simple things, like, "should I wear x outfit or z outfit?" are easy to advise upon, but when people ask deep and meaningful questions like "should I leave my husband?" chances are they have already made a decision and are just looking for someone to validate it. If someone says, "yes you should, your hubby is a dillhole" and the person seeking advice does not agree, then she would say "yes he is but only when he's drinking" or "yes I know, but I have nowhere else to go." Honestly, there are so many times when people will say the right thing to someone who has asked for advice, then that person doesn't take it! That happens all the time! Then later on down the road, that advisable person realizes the error of their ways, and the advice giver gets to say "I told you so!!" I wish people would stop asking me for advice. I tell then what I think is right. Then they tell me I am wrong and they don't agree. Well listen, YOU asked for my advice. You know me, you know what I think like, you know my beliefs, if you don't like the advice I give then DON'T ASK FOR IT! If you are looking for someone to agree with you, then say "please tell me I'm not crazy." That would do wonderfully.Kthxbye

I seriously have a problem getting motivated. Which got me to thinking, why is it so hard for me to get motivated when I don't do anything else all day, than it was when I was working? I would work a 40 hour workweek (at least) and come home and still find the energy somewhere to get the house in order. Now, however, not a chance. What is it that motivates us to get up, drag our butts out of bed, but not go any further? Maybe it's because I know it's not "required". For work, well, I can not go in if I choose, but I would get fired. At home, if I don't clean, I don't get fired. It just gets dirty. Maybe it's time to try and motivate myself. Make myself view the house as a job, and something I need to do. And then reward myself! Like, if I thoroughly clean the living room one day (which is a feat) then that night I will go out and buy myself a tub of ice cream. Hmmm...I wonder if that's what the problem is. For a job you get a paycheck. I have no incentive to do anything but sit on my butt all day. Incentives.....hmmmm.

So, Craig and I went out the other night with some friends. We got to talking about same-sex viewpoints and how women are so much harsher to other women than men are to other men. It is so true! We have a tendency to nitpick everything about other people. I think it's because women are so much more self conscious, so they pick at the things they don't like about themselves. Like, if I see a chick walking down the street with a REALLY low cut shirt I'm going to scoff at her because I don't have the...assets...to pull it off myself. Lets talk about a bar scene. Women (in general) are so much more competitive than men and I think that is where a lot of it comes from. When a guy walks into a bar, every other guy is his friend until proven otherwise. You would think they are all best buds! However, with women it's the opposite! When a woman walks into a bar, every other woman is her ENEMY until proven otherwise. Why is that? Why can't we be just as easygoing and free-spirited as the guys? Again, my theory of women are more competitive. So ladies, when you see another girl, whether it be in a bar, in the grocery store, in the post office, whatever, at least smile. Maybe say hello in a friendly tone! Or heck, even say something like "I just love your shirt!" or "wow, your kids are so adorable!". A little kindness can go a long way.

People have told me on numerous occasions I should start a blog. It's therapeutic. So I decided to cave in. General overview time! My name is Emily. I live with my fiance Craig here in Texas. Texas sucks. We're from North Carolina. We both want to go back. Stupid work. Anywho, last February, I gave birth via c-section to a beautiful baby boy! Well, he is our son, but we are not his parents. We decided to give him up for adoption. It has been a hard burden to bear. But we are getting through it and it is bringing us closer together! We have an open adoption and his parents are great! They're such nice people, and so deserving of this happiness! Right now I am unemployed (because Craig is my sugar daddy LOL) so hopefully I will be able to keep up with my blogs!